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Free on Valentines? I don't how her "disabilities" relate to h her doing housekeeping or shouldn't in a physical way. She seems perfectly cab able of doing her share. Does she work out of the home?

It sounds to me like she is stuck in a pattern of learned helplessness rather than privilege. Because of her situation, it sounds like she grew up with dwf message from her folks that she "couldn't do stuff" and therefore was regarded as unable to. As far as getting up in the night, you should have a system to wake her.

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About housekeeping have you tied addressing it in a fun time? Since you began with a catalog of her disabilities, it seems like her attitude of her disability that she is not capable is really what's getting in the way, and perhaps providing an Personal for both of you.

Finally, you say she's Deaf. Does she have Deaf friends or is she involved in Deaf society at all?

Growing up exclusively in the hearing world might be a little like growing up white with all Asian people or so on. I know this seems to go far beyond housekeeping, but it sounds like she's disempowering herself and you are getting the burden.

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